Chapter Fifteen: Wading Into Forever

The river was a few miles north of town. The swimming area was downstream from the bridge. Upstream, scattered dreamers still panned for gold.

I parked my van and made my way down the embankment over the rocks and through the trees. I stood beside the river and looked for her. She wasn’t there. I was a half hour early, though.

I found a rock to sit on while I waited. There was no sand, just rocks. The river was normally shallow, fast, and furious, but here there was some depth that slowed it and created a few swimming holes.

People were scattered here and there on both sides of the river. Some waded or swam a few strokes. Some stretched out on flat rocks in the river and soaked up the sun. Some sat on blankets and ate sandwiches. Normal going to the river stuff.

Everyone was naked. Even the kids. I wondered if Teresa knew this was a nude beach. It could get sticky if she didn’t. She had suggested it, though. She must have known.

I’d been here several times. It was peaceful and the burble of the river over the rocks was slightly hypnotic. It was a strangely private place. Nude people kept to themselves and nobody ogled or hustled. There was less sex in the air than there was at a laundromat. Wading around nude in the great outdoors was a free and exotic feeling. You didn’t need anything more to make it a fine day.

In the city, you had to join a club to do it. It wasn’t the same. Not even close. Clubs were never close. I don’t know why anyone joined them.

I took off my shoes and socks, but left the rest of my clothes on. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. I was still ToBeGoingBlind, let’s face it.

Finally, I saw her. She stood by the river, looking around. When she spotted me waving she walked over. She didn’t sashay her hips when she walked, like most women. It was more like she skimmed along the ground. Elbows in, forearms swinging, palms up, head down and leading the way. Determined. Her hair was in a pony tail today, catching the wind like a stallion.

“I see you made it,” she said, stopping in front of me.

“You bet.”

She dropped her purse on the ground and kicked off her sandals.

“Did you bring your birthday suit?” she asked.

“I never go anywhere without it.”

She smiled and, looking steadily at me, began to unbutton her blouse. I took my T-shirt off as quick as I could and threw it in a wad on the ground. I didn’t want to miss anything. Not to be rude, I looked her straight in the eyes.

It was extremely hard not to waver my gaze. Something else was getting hard, too, and would be embarrassing in a few moments. She undid the last button and let her blouse fall to the ground. I willed myself to keep looking at her eyes. I couldn’t keep from sucking in a lung full of air, though, and exhaling it slowly. My peripheral vision was peeking around like crazy. I couldn’t stop it.

“This is the first date I’ve ever been on,” I said, “where I didn’t wear any clothes.”

“Is this a date?”

“You tell me. I don’t care what you call it. Anything’s fine with me.”

“Let’s call it a rendezvous.”

“Sure. With destiny?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

We unbuttoned our shorts. She wiggled out of hers, along with her underwear, and let them fall to her ankles. Then stepped out of both and flicked them aside with her foot. I slid mine down and did the same. They caught on my foot. I kicked them loose, but they caught again. I reached down and threw them aside. Women could wiggle out of clothes with ease. Men had to axe their way out.

I blushed self-consciously as I stood there swollen in front of her. She looked down at me and chuckled. Oh, oh.

“Somebody seems to like me,” she said.

Whew. I looked down at myself and shrugged apologetically. “Oops.”

“That’s okay,” she said. “I like a man who speaks his mind.”

She held out her hand. “Shall we wade?”

The cool water of the river quickly shrank my loudmouthed friend down to size. A little too much down to size to suit me. The cool water had the opposite effect on her, hardening the nipples on her small, round breasts. I was bursting with wild agog. It was the hugest I-can’t-believe-this-is-really-happening moment of my whole life.

Wow. People really could actually feel this way. Just like Mom had always said. When it happens, you’ll know, Blue. She used to give me that great loving motherly smile then, and ruffle my hair. You’ll know, son.

We stepped gingerly downstream, catching each other when one of us stumbled on a submerged rock. I tried not to stumble too often so it wouldn’t be obvious to her I just liked having her catch my elbow and brush against me.

The water varied from ankle deep to hip deep. I soaked up being with her. The only thing I could think of to say was, “Can I spend the rest of my life with you?”

It was probably too soon to go that far. Even a moron like me could understand that. I’d wait a half-hour.

“So, Mr. Blue, who are you?”

“Just a nobody who’s the happiest guy in the world right now.”

She slid her hand up my arm and gave it a squeeze. What a hand.

“What do you do the rest of the time?” she asked.

“I’m working with a friend. He has a typesetting business. Tweed Typography. It’s up around the block from your house. I’m learning computer programming. Before that, I managed a night club in Cotati. Over in Sonoma County.”

“Computers and music. An odd mix. Do you play? Music, I mean.”

“No. I just listen. How about you? Who are you?”

“A girl in trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?”

She leaned up against me. Nestled her shoulder in there on my arm. God, her skin was so soft and smooth it melted me like an ice cream cone in a kid’s hand on a hot day. Dripping down his fingers faster than he could lick it.

“Man trouble.”

Uh, oh. Shit. “What kind of man trouble?”

She stopped and looked at me with a rueful smile. “You.”

“I’m trouble?”

“Yes. I didn’t want to be with a man right now.”

“Does that mean you’re with me?”

“Apparently so.”

“Don’t mind me if I start floating or something. I think a cloud just slipped under my feet.”

She coughed through her nose. “You are one full of bullshit character.”

We waded on.

Fish leaped out of the water and skated on their fins. Birds danced on the shore holding their wings outstretched as they warbled Moonlight Sonata. Squirrels swung from limb to limb doing triple somersaults in midair. A fawn tiptoed across the water without causing a ripple.

It was funny. I had never noticed these wonders before. It was like I’d been blind all my life. ToBeGoingBlind all right. It was all there to see if you just opened your eyes and spent even a second with the girl of your lifetime.

The river turned a corner and we found ourselves alone.

Teresa led the way to shore and we sat down on a warm, flat rock and dangled our feet in the river.

We sat side by side.

I tried to think of something humorous to say. It was hard to be funny when you wanted to. Only comedians could do it.

“What do you do when you’re not in trouble?” I asked.

“I paint. Play the piano. Dabble at this and that. I’m too scatterbrained to focus on any one thing.”

“You own your house though, right?”

“It was in my dad’s will.”

“You probably want to know if I’m a secret axe murderer. It’s a standard question on the rendezvous questionnaire these days.”

She elbowed me. “Yes. It was on the tip of my lip. That’s why I suggested this place. You couldn’t hide any weapons.”

“I have a miniature one taped to the bottom of my foot.”

“No wonder you can’t walk straight. And all along I thought you just liked groping me.”

“You noticed, huh.”

“Yeah. But you didn’t.”

“You were groping me?”

“No. I was seeing if my skin crawled when it touched you.”

“Did it?”

She leaned her head against my shoulder and put her arm around my back. What an arm. She laid the other hand on my hip bone. Smoothing it around in her palm. It stuck out a bit. My hip bone, that is. My insides were groaning up a storm. Total happiness was taking over everything that used to just be me.

I placed my hand on her leg and stroked it reverently. Wow. What a leg.

What. A. Leg.

All I could think of was “Please God, don’t kill me now. Wait till tomorrow at least.”

We laid down on our backs, our feet still dangling in the water. Side by side on the hot, flat rock of life, our shoulders touching, staring up at the sky. I held her hand. It fit like a glove.

“The sky’s blue today,” I said.

“How remarkable,” she said.

We laid there for awhile. It was like an echo chamber. Every sound was loud and clear and whapped around through the trees. You could hear cars driving by on the road above the river. Going north. There was nothing much up north but serious mountain territory. Lots of it.

Where were they going? The car engines sounded lonely. Trudging off somewhere like a beast of burden. Huffing up the road, higher and higher they would go. Radiators panting. Transmissions dug down into low gear. Sweating ahead mile by mile. Tires clutching the road so they didn’t fall off a cliff and turn into smithereens all up and down the mountainside. All to get somewhere that was nowhere.

“I know your Indian name,” I said.

“I don’t have one. I’m Italian.”

“Breeze is Italian?”

“No. My mother was.”

“Everybody has an Indian name. Yours is TellingWays.”

“That’s pretty dumb.”

“You want to know what mine is?”

“Not particularly.”

“It’s ToBeGoingBlind.”

“I think you’re already there.”

“I know. You’re the there.”

“Do you always talk with your mouth full? Or is it just me?”

“It’s you. I’m having a thought.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“I’m thinking we should fall in love and live happily ever after. What do you think?”

“We just met. We don’t know anything about each other.”

“We can find out as we go.”

“What if we find out we don’t fit?”

“We won’t. We do.”

“You’re pretty sure of yourself.”

“Not normally. Just with you. You like me, don’t you?”

“I hate you. You’re ruining my life.”

I rolled over on my side so I could look at her. “Is it okay if I look at you?”

“You already are.”

“I know. Wow. You really are beautiful.”

She squinted up at me. Then she smiled and rubbed her hand on my cheek. She closed her eyes and sighed.

“Blue,” she said.

“Yes, Teresa?”

“You can kiss me now.”

To be continued . . .